The Rules Are Yours to Bend

To all my future brides:

Here are just a few of the questions and concerns that I have been getting from soon to be brides...

* I want something simple, but my Mother wants an elaborate wedding.
- There are a few things to consider here. If this will be your Mother's first child to wed, or if you are her only daughter please consider how you would feel if you were in her shoes. Taking this in account, this is still your wedding "your Mother already had her day". Compromise by outling the "must haves" for you and your groom, i.e. small country ceremony, beach wedding, informal ceremony, etc...
Let Mom's input center around your key focus points.

* I have all of these ideas in my head but I don't know where to begin. I don't have the time to pull everything together, I'm totally overwhelmed!
- That's were your wedding planner comes in, making life much more simple for you. She is trained to deal with getting everyone on the same page at the same time, doing the leg work of dealing with vendors and making your visions come to life. The money you spend to secure a seasoned planner will give you the peace of mind that you should have as a bride, as well as savings in the long run.

* I want an adult reception but I'm afraid to offend family members with children.
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If you are thinking about the option of an Adults Only wedding reception, its critically important that you consider the matter carefully and realize that some may indeed find this to be a tad offensive, ungracious, or downright cold. Weddings are not typically adult only events - in fact, throughout history, children have played an important role in the symbolism associated with weddings - and therefore some might be offended that you are dictating that they must leave their little ones at home.

Ultimately however, your wedding day is YOUR day and the bottom line is that you have a right to be happy and have it your way on this one day out of your entire life. If, after carefully considering this, you decide that this is the way it is going to be, you should follow the following rules for this delicate situation:

• Indicate that the reception is to be adults only by having the words "Adults Only Reception" or "Adult Reception" printed along with the reception location and time on the invitation.
• Do not use phrases such as NO KIDS, NO CHILDREN, etc. The only correct wording is Adult Reception or Adults Only Reception.
• This information should be printed by the printer on all invitations. You must never write ANYTHING by hand onto the invitation itself - whether it pertains to this or any other matter. Doing so is considered socially incorrect (in other words, tacky!) and inappropriate.